Wednesday, November 12, 2008

New York Post Special Edition: Wars Are Over



This morning my text message inbox was flooded with strange messages about pick-up times and drop-off locations in Manhattan. Yesterday, I rcvd an email about meeting at Union Square instructing me to bring a large bag with which I can haul as many newspapers as possible. I forgot that a few months ago I signed up to receive updates from The Yes Men.

Here is their press release and below are some pricelessly insightful excerpts of their work:
November 12, 2008
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

SPECIAL TIMES EDITION BLANKETS U.S. CITIES, PROCLAIMS END TO WAR

* PDF: http://www.nytimes-se.com/pdf
* For video updates: http://www.nytimes-se.com/video
* Contact: mailto:writers@nytimes-se.com

Early this morning, commuters nationwide were delighted to find out
that while they were sleeping, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan had
come to an end.

If, that is, they happened to read a "special edition" of today's New
York Times.

In an elaborate operation six months in the planning, 1.2 million
papers were printed at six different presses and driven to prearranged
pickup locations, where thousands of volunteers stood ready to pass
them out on the street.

Articles in the paper announce dozens of new initiatives including the
establishment of national health care, the abolition of corporate
lobbying, a maximum wage for C.E.O.s, and, of course, the end of the
war.

The paper, an exact replica of The New York Times, includes
International, National, New York, and Business sections, as well as
editorials, corrections, and a number of advertisements, including a
recall notice for all cars that run on gasoline. There is also a
timeline describing the gains brought about by eight months of
progressive support and pressure, culminating in President Obama's "Yes
we REALLY can" speech. (The paper is post-dated July 4, 2009.)

"It's all about how at this point, we need to push harder than ever,"
said Bertha Suttner, one of the newspaper's writers. "We've got to make
sure Obama and all the other Democrats do what we elected them to do.
After eight, or maybe twenty-eight years of hell, we need to start
imagining heaven."

Not all readers reacted favorably. "The thing I disagree with is how
they did it," said Stuart Carlyle, who received a paper in Grand
Central Station while commuting to his Wall Street brokerage. "I'm all
for freedom of speech, but they should have started their own paper."


If you have time during your busy day of slave waging, please enjoy some of the following shenanigans here and on youtube:










That’s pretty awesome.

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